Craving

“What kind of crazy cravings have you had so far?”

This is the top question I get from men. Not sure why it’s such a popular query from the men folk, but they all want to know. Or they don’t know what else to ask, so they go with something that is pretty safe like food. Besides the Cheez-its and vanilla ice cream, I can’t claim that I have wanted anything that could be considered “crazy” just yet.

The most powerful craving I have had so far has not been for food.

I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep when I was hit by a huge wave. It was a physical craving unlike anything I have felt. I’ve never been addicted to anything, so I can’t compare it to withdrawals. But it was an intense need that I have never experienced before. I wanted to hold the baby. More than anything. My lungs felt like they couldn’t expand unless I had the baby laying on my chest. I imagine this is nature’s way of making sure I bond with my child before she/he is born. My hormones are pulsing through my veins and screaming I WANT mY BABYYYyyyyyy until I want to burst.

Does this sound weird to anyone out there? Or is it the most normal thing in the world for a mom-to-be? Is this feeling just a tiny inkling of what I will feel when the baby actually arrives? Because I think my heart will burst out of my chest it that is the case.

The best conversations I’ve had in the past couple months have been with well seasoned parents. They tell me that I think I know what love is, but I have no idea what is about to hit me. Hmmm. This is an exciting and terrifying prospect. I hope I am capable of such a thing, and I don’t have a heart attack in the postpartum suite. What if I don’t fall in love instantly? I have heard of delayed bonding is also possibility for new parents.

If the wave that hit me earlier this month is any indication, I assume my bonding capabilities are built in and ready to go. I should probably worry more about squeezing the baby to death from over-loving it more than anything else.

Speaking of hearts, we have heard the baby’s heartbeat twice. Today’s was full of static because apparently baby is moving around like crazy in there. I am waiting to start feeling these little kicks and somersaults in the next few weeks. And on March 9th, we will actually get to SEE our little one at the big ultrasound appt. *burst*

Advertisements

4 responses to “Craving

  1. “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
    While loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
    -Lao Tzu

  2. I’m a new mum, my baby is 12 weeks. I was scared just before the birth not to love him. I had a c-section, they say it takes longer to bond with your child when they are born that way.
    As soon as I heard him crying (I couldn’t see him yet) my heart sank. This is the purest, strongest love that could ever exist. I would give my life for him, he his my life, it is beyond all I could ever have imagined. And your heart will burst out of your chest.
    And you know what? It gets more intense every day.

  3. I just stumbled upon your blog – through someone else’s & I’m so glad I did!! I am also a first time expectant mom (due Jul 20th!), and have had a pretty rough 5 months to say the least. My morning sickness is finally started to wean (unless you count the mess I made in the giant parking lot this morning, but really – whose keeping track??!); anyhow my biggest craving thus far has to be ice cream, and mashed potatoes – though not together. I mean what’s not to love about ice cream and carbs? Delish. Congrats on your pregnancy & I look forward to catching up!

  4. Oh, I remember those cravings. All those parents you’ve been talking to are right – there is simply no describing how deeply you are about to fall in love. It’s the best, most bewildering feeling you can even imagine. Oh, I’m so excited for you. Reading this makes me want to be preggers again!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s