I just hit the New Post button on here as Justin looked over and told me that I need a nap. I must be whimpering, I likely have droopy-eyelid-slack-jaw face. So I’m sure my mind is not really sharp for writing anything.
But here I am.
I feel rambling coming on…
Is anyone reading this who isn’t my mom, pregnant, or has children already?
I feel like I am probably losing some old DPH readers. If you all are still here, I’m astonished. Or maybe you have the baby fever. If I remember back to a year ago, I too would have been stalking me because of said baby fever. I couldn’t get enough of moms-to-be. Ask yourself: Are you considering buying a puppy because the time isn’t quite right for a baby yet? Money is tight? Maybe you want to be more established in your career. You rent, but want to own? Or you like to sleep at night? Well, the fever laughs at all these things, and I predict that I will be stalking you on your own mom-to-be site within a 6 to 12 months.
So, yes. I have admitted a several times to being a former (and current) creeper/lurker/stalker of mom blogs. I have expanded this to Twitter now. And some of them are starting to notice me out of the corner of their eye. Some are even following me now. I feel like I’m sneaking in the back door of their mom party, and pretending to know what is going on. I smile and laugh at the conversation and hope no one really wonders how I got there or who invited me. I don’t want to be kicked out. Oh, please don’t kick me out. I want to stay into the night and eventually be one of the core group. Everyone will assume I’m a friend-of-a-friend that just belongs there.
Now let’s compare my desire to meet more moms with the nesting instinct. Nesting: The house must be clean and in order, the nursery stocked and ready. Tiny socks washed and in place in the correct drawer next to the infant caps. Things must sparkle. Everything is in its correct storage bin. All this is easy to do and comes naturally for me. There is not even a thought of NOT doing it.
But something is missing. My nest has very few nearby mama birds to help me when I stop caring about little socks being in order and the nest is flipped upside down in a storm. You can’t add mom friends to the baby registry. So I have this other instinct that is much stronger than the nesting one. I feel a need to seek out my own kind and gather information from the other moms-to-be, the new moms, and the much more experienced and wiser moms that have come before me.
Why am I so nervous about them accepting me? I have six weeks until I’m officially a parent and I’m more worried about the playground than the delivery room.
I know there are message boards, meet-up groups, and throngs of women at the park nearby. I’m sure eventually I will come to know them. But when I say I just want to know moms for the information they have to offer, that is only part of the story.
I want the support, the total understanding of the joy and pain of it all, and the friendship of women that have been there and truly understand. I want to be able offer the same to them. Someday, hopefully I will be the wise one that new moms look to for help. But right now, I need a wing to curl up under.