A few weeks ago, I was having trouble.
I don’t want to go into it too deeply, because I don’t know how to articulate exactly what I was feeling. But I can tell you that I was very lonely, on the edge of tears, and just plain stuck. Basically, I needed some courage and I found it. I also really needed to get to this home-stretch stage of my pregnancy.
I feel like I am becoming a better version of myself now. This is good news for me, Justin, and Baby B. As my due date approaches, I feel like I am going to burst. Not only physically, but mentally. I want to burst from the anticipation, love, and a million other new emotions that cannot be contained. My sense of humor is back. I have started to put myself out there, and have been rewarded suddenly and immensely with a lot of love in return. Funny how that works.
I do not fear my upcoming labor. My concerns with pregnancy and birth are upstaged by my curiosities of newborn care and how my new little family will bond together. I am just sooo very pregnant at this point, that I have come to trust it will all work out on its own. I am giving Brain a pregnancy break, and handing it over to Body to take care of. Baby is what’s on my mind.
Is any of this making sense? Are these just the mad ramblings of an end-of-pregnancy-mama-to-be? Has anyone else felt this way?
Anyway, thank you all for being there for me. Whether you are with me in person or online. It has made more of a difference in my life than I can tell you. I am happy to report that I am hitting the “post” button with a grin on my face instead of the tears that accompanied that button a short month ago.
I leave you with my hugenormous belly picture that my new friend Beth took last weekend. 🙂