Mine, Ours, Us, and We

When I was visiting my mom–or Grandma if you are baby B–the mother of one of my oldest friends stopped by to meet the little man. Before she left she said something to the effect that for the first 6 months, the baby is yours. And after that, it’s time to get him integrated into to the world.

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this concept.

Benton is two months old this Saturday. Being a tiny man-baby, he doesn’t do a whole lot compared to an older human. His skills include eating, napping, gazing, and punching me in the boob. I adore every inch of him and anything new that he can do. We jokingly proclaim his genius when he makes a new noise or kicks a cat. Although being googly-eyed new parents, we half believe it.

But since he really doesn’t do much on his own yet, he truly still feels like an extension of myself right now. He may not be living inside my belly anymore, but it’s close. That’s why they call it the 4th trimester. He’s so dependent on me, that the boundaries where he stops and I begin are often blurred. When I tell Justin about what happened during the day, it is often “we” and “us” instead of “he” and “him”.

It’s his first six months. OUR first six months. So I am going to eat it up. He has the whole rest of his life to be his own person. An independent guy with likes, and dislikes, and quirks all his own. He is allowed to go out into the world and be what he wants. My job will be to help him, teach him, and leave him alone when he needs to do things himself.

But not yet.

We are busy being unbusy. I am not sure if I am supposed to be doing a ton of activities with the little fellow, but I’m not yet. Sometimes I feel some kind of new-mom-guilt that I should be DOING things with him all the time. But he is so content with eating and napping, that it takes up 90% of our day.

Occasionally, we have dance parties and photobooth sessions. And sometimes I eat his feet.

Because they’re mine.

This is one of the few photos I will ever post without at least mascara on. I have a hard time looking anyone in the eyes without my mascara.

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5 responses to “Mine, Ours, Us, and We

  1. oh man. your thoughts are so spot on … and believe me, you will have plenty of time for libraries and playgrounds and museums and outings. for now, eating and sleeping is what you both need.

    [nak]

  2. I agree. I think you are doing just what you should be doing. Soak up your time with your little one before he get big and doesn’t want to nap on your shoulder or rely on you for everything!

  3. I have no words to express how much your writing about how you are experiencing these days. Your column pleases my MOMMY heart Megan. My children are now in their 30’s and 40’s… with children of their own. And it has taken me all that time not to think of them as teenagers.

    You really get it! You’re not about to let one precious day slip through your fingers. That is so cool. Can’t wait to meet and greet Benton personally.
    (Wonder what your next posting will talk about)

  4. He is such a little nommers. Enjoy it.

  5. the 4th goes by WAY too fast. i don’t think i paused to enjoy it enough. treasure it, but know that it only gets better and better.

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