Underfluff

Sometimes it is easier to be funny.

Sometimes people are so sarcastic and ironic and FUNNY, but I wonder what is underneath it all. If they have to be honest and serious about something, it is clear they are uncomfortable. People will lean in and wait for the punchline, and then avert their eyes in hopes of a distraction when they find there isn’t one.

I struggle with this myself.

This is not to say that authenticity and humor can’t mix. I have many hilarious friends that are genuine people.  But it is also possible to be honest without revealing everything.

I’m often guilty of just giving out just a taste of my frosting layer. I enjoy this layer, and it has the power to sweeten someone’s day or make people laugh. That can only be a good thing. It’s all truth, and sometimes light and fluffy, but very rarely will you get the cake.

It makes me wonder how many people I really “know.” Probably less than I can count on one hand. How can I get to know people better? And let people know me? Why is this so difficult?

…Anyway…

Something new is pulling at me. Only it doesn’t feel new. Like something that was always there that I am just now discovering. You know how you never notice a certain kind of car until you buy that car? And then you see it EVERYWHERE? Or upon learning a new word that you’ve never heard before, you hear it 16 times that week? You become tuned into something new that you’ve never noticed before, and suddenly you are surrounding. Well, I am feeling that. But bigger.

I don’t know what to do with it at the moment, and I haven’t talked about it with anyone. I just have a gut feeling that is telling me what I’m supposed to do. It is by no means a solid idea, and the fragments are just beginning to meld. It’s merely a direction, not an end. Someday it may become something real, but at the moment it seems far beyond my reach. I need to be stronger first.

Sorry for the cryptic post, but I needed to put some of this mind swirl into words for my own sake. No need to worry over my tormented soul, I am just fine. Just a bit swirly.

In lighter frosting news, I am going on a road trip with Benton tomorrow. We are visiting some friends in Indianapolis, and I get to meet another blog friend face-to-face this Saturday!  Wouldn’t it be nice to take a year and visit everyone that lives in your RSS feed in real life? Sounds like a good project to me.

I leave you with a couple of pictures of cats in sun. And a baby I get to see tomorrow in Indy. DRESSED AS A PINK CAT. Frosting for everyone! I hope your teeth hurt.

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6 responses to “Underfluff

  1. i’m fluff. all fluff. i often wish i could write it all out and be the real me 100% of the time. but i’d much rather be funny. and silly. and sarcastic. i do open up sometimes, but then i feel stupid and go back in my hole a day later.

    so i’m eager to see what’s swirling and twirling in your beautiful brain … that is, if you ever feel like sharing.

    have fun on your road trip, and i am SO jealous you get to meet erin. she is one of my most favorite people.

    if you ever find yourself coming south, then i will meet you. halfway. wherever. anytime.

  2. you have no idea how many posts sit saved as draft or deleted because for one reason or another i don’t have the nerve to finish them or they feel wrong or i just can’t say it all aloud to everyone but needed to write it anyway.

    can’t wait to see you in real life!

  3. I think the more you write, the more we’ll see your “cake”….looking forward to it.

    p.s. I love your frosting too.

  4. I would love to take a trip to see all my favorite blogger mamas. I’m so incredibly jealous you get to see Erin. I heart her so much.

    I do, however, only live 2 hours away from Keli. I need to get on that…

    Sometimes I feel like I don’t have enough frosting. Sure, I’m all sarcastic on Twitter but, on my blog, things get way deep way fast and then I hit publish.

    And then the twinge of regret.

    Maybe I need to get over that. Maybe I need more fluff.

  5. Humor is a great way to deflect thinking about tough situations. I hear ya.

    You have to go with your gut, always always. Most likely this shift is a good thing. 🙂

    And baby in a cat suit about gave me a stroke.

  6. i get so much of this.

    i also think the other way around, how many people REALLY know me & it is odd to think about.

    i hope the pulling leads you to where you need to go. soon.

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