Sometimes it is easier to be funny.
Sometimes people are so sarcastic and ironic and FUNNY, but I wonder what is underneath it all. If they have to be honest and serious about something, it is clear they are uncomfortable. People will lean in and wait for the punchline, and then avert their eyes in hopes of a distraction when they find there isn’t one.
I struggle with this myself.
This is not to say that authenticity and humor can’t mix. I have many hilarious friends that are genuine people. But it is also possible to be honest without revealing everything.
I’m often guilty of just giving out just a taste of my frosting layer. I enjoy this layer, and it has the power to sweeten someone’s day or make people laugh. That can only be a good thing. It’s all truth, and sometimes light and fluffy, but very rarely will you get the cake.
It makes me wonder how many people I really “know.” Probably less than I can count on one hand. How can I get to know people better? And let people know me? Why is this so difficult?
Something new is pulling at me. Only it doesn’t feel new. Like something that was always there that I am just now discovering. You know how you never notice a certain kind of car until you buy that car? And then you see it EVERYWHERE? Or upon learning a new word that you’ve never heard before, you hear it 16 times that week? You become tuned into something new that you’ve never noticed before, and suddenly you are surrounding. Well, I am feeling that. But bigger.
I don’t know what to do with it at the moment, and I haven’t talked about it with anyone. I just have a gut feeling that is telling me what I’m supposed to do. It is by no means a solid idea, and the fragments are just beginning to meld. It’s merely a direction, not an end. Someday it may become something real, but at the moment it seems far beyond my reach. I need to be stronger first.
Sorry for the cryptic post, but I needed to put some of this mind swirl into words for my own sake. No need to worry over my tormented soul, I am just fine. Just a bit swirly.
In lighter frosting news, I am going on a road trip with Benton tomorrow. We are visiting some friends in Indianapolis, and I get to meet another blog friend face-to-face this Saturday! Wouldn’t it be nice to take a year and visit everyone that lives in your RSS feed in real life? Sounds like a good project to me.
I leave you with a couple of pictures of cats in sun. And a baby I get to see tomorrow in Indy. DRESSED AS A PINK CAT. Frosting for everyone! I hope your teeth hurt.