I was recently stalking a childhood friend on the old Facebook, because I suspected she was pregnant. She was! And she had one of those enviable glowing, cute, basketball bellies with no marks on it. So basically the total opposite of mine. ANYWAY.

She and another childhood friend mentioned that they were also guilty of doing some baby-stalking in my direction. They said I made motherhood look like so much fun.

This is a great compliment. And motherhood IS fun to me. I am glad that comes through in the image I project.

But it’s not always funnsies of course.

Like many things in life, what is fun to you depends more on your attitude than anything. I don’t want moms-to-be to think that their lives will be suddenly sunny with kids. The truth is, if you were an unhappy or negative person before you had kids, you will likely be the same unhappy person with kids. Do not think that these “bundles-of-joy” contain actual joy that will magically spill into your life. That has to come from within you. It is not the baby’s responsibility to entertain you or make you happy. You have to make you happy.

So when something outlandish or ridiculous is occurring, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I make a funny.

Example: Benton was on a nap strike this morning. He generally naps within the first couple of hours after he wakes up. Today? 4+ hours and some screaming at the dolphins. Fun? Not really. But when you step back, there was some hilarity in it.



18 responses to “Funnsies

  1. I agree that just having a baby won’t automatically make your world sunny but having my daughter definitely helped to make me a happier person. And it is what you make of it, but wow, decorating a Christmas tree suddenly is so much more fun when you have a 1 1/2 year old *helping* out and then there is the bliss that comes with having an impromptu dance party while watching Sesame Street.

    All of those amazingly awesome times make the onset of the “terrible twos” so much easier to deal with. So, while it isn’t realistic to think that your life will be perfect because you have a child, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to expect more moments of pure joy.

    • All good points, Carrie. Perfectly reasonable to expect moments of joy. And yes, I was a happy person before Benton, and now consider myself happier. I think my point is that if someone is looking to have kids in order to turn their life from sad to happy, they will be disappointed. Kind of goes for people that think marriage will change them as well. You know what I mean?

      • Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I just have too many friends who are the opposite – they think that having a baby will take something away from their lives and I felt that way at one point in my life too. Now that I have a baby, I realize that it really can make a good life incredibly fantastic.

  2. first of all, i have been blog-stalking you for a few months now and realize that we have a bit in common. i am a graphic designer (now freelance) who was born in MI (i think we had a MI connection…) and lived in the suburbs of Chicago when i got married (for four years) and now live out in CO (one year), which you visited over Thanksgiving. i’m also the one who is doing a silly produce photoshoot ( and wishes my blog was as funny as yours.

    anyway, just wanted to say that i enjoy reading your posts – you are the only non-friend/relative that i follow in my Reader.

  3. oh, and also…this is photo is hilarious! i hope to find the humor in my upcoming motherhood mayhem, too…only three more months….

  4. Love the photo. I think the cat is wise for keeping a distance. I also do love your view on motherhood. I have six kids of my own and am inspired by your photos and overall attitude to remember the silly/funny/joyful moments a lot more.

  5. I’d love to hear the audio that accompanies that photo. 🙂

  6. Totally frameable.

    I expect to see that hanging up somewhere in your house soon.

  7. Furrowed man brow!!

  8. i think so much of it has to do with your own attitude as a parent. there are times when the kid is just freaking out and all i can do is laugh and give him a hug because it’s all so silly. i mean, really? with the screaming? oh come get a hug you little goof.

  9. that photo literally turned my otherwise crummy day around … in the midst of despair, frustration and even a bit of anger, it’s best to just sit back and look for the hilarity waiting for you … often peeking it’s little beady eyes from around the corning, ready to pounce!! :0)

  10. The cat remarkably doesn’t look that annoyed (he doesn’t have his ears back). I am interested to see how our cats react to future babies which are down the road a bit.

    I really have the baby lust. I know that my partner and I aren’t ready yet… but I want to have a big ole family. I kind of feel it’s my calling to be mom… Yet, I feel like I’m not supposed to say that. Then what if, I don’t like it… I doubt that would happen but still…

    And, I’m gay. That definitely complicates things. But that’s not really my concern right now. I just felt like I had to make that known.

    Well, being gay means my partner and I have to make a very concious choice about when to start ttc.

    Anyway, love the pic. It’s amazing how fast babies age.

    • I can tell you have the baby fever. I really hope you get your big ole family. What are you both waiting for? Money, time, etc? Just curious.

      • Money is probably the number one factor. We are both in school and really can’t support ourselves at this point. We’re getting help from our parents…

        Also, I feel like if we aren’t together enough to support ourselves (even if we are going to school) we aren’t together enough to have a baby yet.

        I do feel like a number of things are going to fall into place in the next year though. And, I’d like to see where we stand then.

        There are also other feelings I have, which maybe I should exam because maybe they are holding me back in other areas. But it’s all a little vague right now.

  11. now that we are out of what i like to refer to as 3 months of hades, i’m finding the bad moments pretty funny. like the other night when both girls were crying and ken was texting me about how horrible his job is – it was kind of hysterical. like if teenagers peeked into our window, we would never have the show Teen Moms.

    but those first three months? when my cuddly baby wouldn’t stop crying or gurgling or refluxing, and i couldn’t figure out how to fix it? well, that was unhappy. i wish i could have just had a moment to step back and regroup.

    but at now? NOW, we are very happy. NOW we can make jokes about the bad times, because they are few and far between, thank GOD.

  12. It really is all about the attitude. Sometimes mine is better than others…but your little Benton, screaming at the dolphins or not, is a cutie pie.

  13. Oh, that picture is so frame-able! And yes, it’s all about the attitude, just like everything in life is.

    The grumbles, totally agree with you. The other night my girl was just in one of THOSE moods. She eventually stood in one spot crying until snot and drool were dripping down her front. I don’t think she even remembered why she was upset, but she wouldn’t come to me for comfort either. I couldn’t help but laugh a little at the sillieness of it all.

  14. I love how the cat looks so content, in total contrast to B….

    And you kind of are an amazing mom, that I, and I’m sure lots of other mamas, look up to. You’re pretty rad, my dear. And B is pretty darn sweet, too. 🙂

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