Sad Trombone

Things are not right.

Just…off. It’s weird how stuff can unravel all at once. This usually doesn’t happen, but I guess that’s how life goes sometimes. I don’t want a pity party. I just want to fix things, but much of it is out of my control.

Since I am striving to stay positive, I have taken up a new hobby in escapism. Heh. It’s called Pinterest. It’s like they invented this site with me in mind. Adore. You can see my virtual pinboards here if you feel like stalking me. Anyway. It makes me happy and inspires me when stuff is crummy.

Yesterday, I completed the most ridiculous errand I have accomplished to date. The sick mama took the sick cat along with the sick baby to the vet.

We parked on the street because that is the only option. There was 4ft of snow and no curb to speak of along the street, so I could only open the passenger doors of the car about 14 inches max. I squished in between the horrid snow bank and vehicle and stood in 3 inches of cold slush while somehow getting the baby out of his seat and into the Ergo carrier. Then I went around and sat in the driver’s seat while wearing him. Somehow I got the cat carrier out the driver side door with me, all while the buses whizzed passed us just 2 ft from my open door. I should really draw a picture. All I could think of as I crossed the street was my friend Erin. I repeated to myself:

please don’t fall, please don’t fall, please don’t fall. I pictured the cat carrier busting open in traffic and a baby covered in dirty slush as a CTA bus ran over my foot. LUCKILY THIS DIDN’T HAPPEN. We made it inside safe and sound.

I can barely lift the cat carrier while also carrying Benton because my lower back is in so much pain. I can’t bend more than 45 degrees without dying. Justin is out-of-town this week for the 3rd week within a month, so I am solo and don’t have an easy way to do a chiropractor appointment for 5 more days.

So. Luckily Benton was an angel during the whole vet appointment. He giggled as I stood smashed in between the filthy snow bank and nasty salted car while I struggled to get him free of the vehicle. He only looked vaguely concerned when a vet tech had to be called into the exam room as Porpus turned into a wolverine and needed to be handled with a blanket and leather gloves. It got loud in there. She was a raging bitch. I don’t blame her.

He is so sweet to keep smiling through his sickness. He makes me feel better when I hear that grandma isn’t doing well or kitty has to go on meds for life. I am not as lonely at night when Justin is gone because I can spoon the sweet baby. My sore throat doesn’t hurt as bad when he reaches out for me.

This morning he decided that jumping on my bladder would bring back fond memories of when he was an easy-to-care for fetus baby. Thanks for being so sweet, little B.

So like I said, I don’t need a pity party. If anything, just chime in with me. Things I am currently telling myself include: This too shall pass. It’s just a rut. People have it way worse than you. You are lucky. Things will balance out…etc..etc…

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16 responses to “Sad Trombone

  1. i have been struggling with a lot of down lately too, more than is normal for me. we CAN do this. things are good, really they are.

  2. Boooo to all the bad.

    Your baby boy is just ridiculously cute and I smile every time you post a picture.

    Eventually there will be less snow. Or so they say.

  3. There are weeks, hell, even months sometimes that just plain suck. Glad you have such a cutie patootie to keep your heart happy through it all.

  4. Things have been hard for me lately, too, lady. I think that’s just how it is when you recover from depression: there’s a little bit of wobble back and forth. (Not that I think that’s your situation, I’m just sharing mine.)

    Sickness, however, can be so WEARING on the soul. It will pass and spring will come and you will feel like your old self again.

    Hugs, Solo Mama.

  5. My baby saw me cry two times last week. Both times she reached up and patted me on the cheek. We are lucky to have them.

  6. I think this entire winter has been one sad blues song ,with lots of sad trombones.

    wah . waaah.

    BUT
    spring is coming
    soon
    (i hope)
    and when do i get to meet you in person already?

    and
    I stalk you on pinterest and I love it.
    (it’s my escape at work, except I can’t pin things, only repin. still)

    ((wow do i make long comments and lots of side notes ))

  7. Had a very similar time of it this time last year. With a month span, I tore a ligament in my finger, had oral surgery, car problems and a very ill family member. Was afraid to get out of bed some days. It shall pass.

  8. That whole scenario would’ve happened to me as well; except I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been calm and patient enough, and the cat carrier would’ve somehow been tossed into oncoming traffic as my infant son slipped out of the bottom of the Moby. All while my four-year-old threw snowballs at my face. So at least THAT didn’t happen. And can I just say that B’s hair is really growing! It’s such a gorgeous color, too. Such a handsome little guy.

  9. it’s funny that i recently blogged about being positive this year, because so far, the year has kind of sucked. i’m finding it HARD to remain positive when sucktastic things keep happening, especially to my girls.

    but we can do it. our lives are still good, in spite of all the suck. XO

  10. I’ve been struggling with The Down lately, as well. Olivia is teething and our money situation is sad and bad. I feel unproductive most of the time.

    But, rut, yes. It will pass. We are moving back home and I couldn’t be happier about that. This will change and pass and be happy again.

  11. winter is dumb. just think how good spring is going to feel. it almost makes the misery worth it for that sunshiny ecstatic feeling.

  12. Any news on Kitty?

  13. Hmmm….here’s what I think: Let yourself feel sorry, then let it go. Let it come, let it go.

  14. Megan! I love your blog – so well written! Never forget – you are doing a service to your readers — the best thing about this post is that even though we’re all stuck in the freezing cold, your day is especially sucky and that makes me feel better about my day (just kidding…sort of) When Joe was out of town for an entire week I swear I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown…it is not easy!!

  15. Oh my goodness, I have to chime in here (found you on Pinterest 🙂 ) because I can totally relate! I am not built for this ridiculously bad weather (I am a transplant to the east coast from CA) so each day of winter has been a total shock to me. Just getting the baby and myself and our crap in and out of the car each day is quite a trial! Last week I decided to be virtuous and walk to the cafe instead of drive in the nasty cold weather, only to discover when I stepped in an icy sludge puddle halfway there that my boots are not, in fact, waterproof. Trudged all the way home, hefting my (rather large and heavy) baby in the ergo with squishy, freezing cold socks.

    It feels good to commiserate! Still, I do feel lucky I can be home with my babe, he is growing up so fast and I am so grateful to be here to see it 🙂

    p.s. – My baby is I think about the same age as yours (he was born June 29, 2010) and is also a little “B” (Bixby). xo Laura

  16. I am so behind but I do hope you’re feeling more on this week. The sun is out today! 🙂

    Steph

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