Herp Derp Winner!

Congratulations, lurker Bek! You have won a fabulous prize. Thanks all for playing this silly game with me. I hope to do more giveaways soon.

Have a wonderful holiday.

❤

What the What

Dear Southwest passengers,

I apologize in advance for my child:

Pick one! Pick both. Benton has turned into a dolphin werewolf in the last 48 hours.

Why? Full moon perhaps? More likely he is just going through a developmental stage that is causing his little baby brain to process twice the information he is used to. This translates into an over-tired, over-stimulated, and hence over-hungry baby.

He goes through his normal cycles of eat, play, nap throughout the day. But as it starts to get toward the last cycle of the day? MAYHEM. He starts squealing like a dolphin and then howls like a wolf. Nothing will satisfy him. Nursing, my usual calming method, DOES NOT INTEREST HIM.

Every little noise distracts him from eating. Everything in the room MUST be in his hand. He just mastered accurate grabbing and wants it all right now. I speak to him in very calm and low tones to keep him even keeled. But the squealing still escalates to screaming. Where did this child come from? Just last Thursday I was talking about what an easy-going baby he is. JINX. Is this new craziness a sign of what’s to come? Or just a phase?

By the way, I had mastitis this weekend. I don’t even want to talk about how badly this dolphin werewolf  visitor’s timing has been. Justin practically sprinted out the door to the gym and work this morning. LUCKY.

The worst night was on Saturday. I had the chills and was feeling so incredibly horrible. Justin was taking care of him as much as possible, but in the end, only mama can calm the baby when he has totally lost it. How did I calm him? We both ended up naked, skin-to-skin in the bathroom mirror singing Baby Beluga. Then at 9:30 on the dot, he nursed and passed out. He can’t make it past then. Win.

So.

WHAT the WHAT?

I don’t bitch much on this blog, but today? Let me have some bitchy time. Yes, I still love this little baby, and wouldn’t trade him for the world, but GAH.

We are getting on a plane in two days. I was not worried about the flight at all until this new phase started up. Now, I am getting a little anxious. Please, oh please, for the love of all things well-behaved and sleepy, let the child be OK on the flight. For his sake. For our sake. For the passengers around us.

Please, oh please.

Herp Derp Lurk Giveaway

Good people, Megagood readers, lurkers, and stumblers. I have a treat for you.

I clearly don’t do giveaways. This is not a big decision that I have made from an ivory tower in the sky. It is mainly because, no one has ever proposed it to me.

Heh.

Don’t feel bad for me. I don’t really care. But I do want to give something to you all for sticking around here. I made it myself! Well, I found it in my closet, and then made the cover look silly.

So, I proudly present my first ever giveaway:

 

Ridiculous! It is a sketchbook with custom Herp Derp art by me.

Look! Shiny. I love you so much that I used the fancy gold pen and paint.

Yes, those are my fingerprints. Finger painting. For you. In gold.

Golllllllllld. You know you want it.

My favorite sketchbooks have graph paper in them. So that is what you get.

You have two options. Just leave a comment to enter into the giveaway, or don’t. If you are a lurker, and have never commented before, your comment will count for THREE entries. Have you ever had more incentive to de-lurk? Me thinks not.

Benton will draw a winner at noon on Tuesday the 23rd with his tiny little hands. Good luck!

 

 

 

The Minutes

Sometimes people ask me what I do all day. Half the time they are genuinely interested, and are likely a mom that wants to compare notes. Half the time it is meant to be rhetorical and comes off as a bit patronizing. Sometimes, I am curious myself as to what all happened, because it can easily seem a blur by the end of the day.

If you actually read all this, I will be shocked.

Anyway, it was an interesting activity for me. Overall it was a pretty typical day, only more nursing than normal. Other observations?  A lot happens before 9 a.m.

It should also be noted that I am new and have only a slight idea of what I am doing. I am not trying to advocate that you follow anything I list below, nor am I trying to prove any points. This is just what happens.

Here is an account of today:

———–

Midnight-6:30 Early morning feedings that I really don’t keep track of.

6:30 Justin’s alarm.

6:30-7 Justin gets ready, Benton wakes up and we lay in bed, he eats his hand.

7 Justin changes B’s diaper and leaves.

7-7:15 Benton watches WGN propped up on the couch while I make coffee and cereal, feed birds, feed cats.

7:15-7:30 B in bouncer. I go to fix internet in the bedroom and come back to see poop face. Change. Back in bouncer, more poop. Change. Back in bouncer. MORE POOP FACE. Change. Back in bouncer.

7:35 I remove the loud rattle from bouncer and text Justin about insane multi- poops.

7:40 J texts “Hah.”

7:41 Second cup of coffee.

7:45 Poop check all clear. Whimpering.

7:46-8 Nursing and internet time.

8  B is transferred to crib after falling asleep on lap. TV off. Look up “Princess Di engagement ring.”

8:05 Shower. Check on baby immediately after while still in towel. Stand in nursery for a minute watching the baby flip around in his sleep. Notice it is a very light sleep, which means this nap may be limited. Rush to dress.

8:21 Check baby. Zombie eyes. Rush to do top-line clean of house. (Make bed, dirty clothes in hamper, dishes in washer, toys in baskets, bathroom stuff in cupboards.

8:26 Whimpers heard from room. Retrieve B. Baby kisses  and hugs.

8:29 Put him on the bed while I brush my teeth and brush hair. Entertainment.

8:30 Floor play with mama and toys, songs, kicking, tummy time, toy nomming, mirror chatter, bumbo sitting, rolling.

9:05 Bath time, lotion, diaper, dress baby, attempted tummy time in crib. Hates it.

9:30 B in Bouncer while I clean up bath time in kitchen and start a load of laundry, check twitter and converse with bouncing baby.

9:34 B is staring at my boobs and making mouthy movements, retrieve from bouncer, walk around with B while getting water, banana, vitamins, makeup, pillows.

9:38 Nursing, internet, banana, makeup, baby fingernail clipping.

9:57 Benton falls asleep in lap and is transferred to crib again. Nap #2 begins. Me thinks this is the long morning nap?

10 am Transfer laundry to dryer and start a new load, thaw chicken, check on baby, plug in baby monitor so that the nursery door can be closed in an attempt not to wake him with the laundry that shares a wall with said nursery, write blog post and publish. Look up cinnamon roll ingredients and do inventory of terribly organized cupboards.

10:48 B awake whimpering in crib, bring him to kitchen to continue inventory for cinn rolls, play airplane, note drowsiness and suspect nap wake-up was premature.

11 Nursing sleepy baby, internet.

11:12 Landline phone rings, baby is angry, I stomp to bedroom and lift receiver enough to slam it down. That phone is only used to buzz people in the building but telemarketers have found the number. I do not want to win a cruise!

11:13 Nursing again, B starts to come off every two seconds an stares at me, turn off loud dryer, go to rocker in nursery, let him suck on my pinky and pet his forehead thinking he will doze off, he starts to kick and I realize he is gassy, feet up by his head does the trick, starts to look like Marlon Brando, so I am suspicious of poop, change pee diaper, more feet by head.

11:40 Back to bouncer for possible poop and mama gets herself lunch, puke and Brando face in bouncer, makes parmesan multi-grain toast and minestrone soup

11:45 I eat while baby watches from bouncer with poop face, big yawn, puts baby music on iTunes, Baby Beluga

11:49 Poop check, all clear

11:50 Oh mister sun, sun, Mr golden sun, bounce bounce bounce, mama dances while eating toast, kitty walks under bouncer and gets bopped on the head.

11:52 Have you ever seen a moose kissing a goose? Marlon Brando, now I’m drinking soup from a mug, baby frowns upon this.

11:55 Lunch is over, the wipers on the bus go swish swish swish, dishes in the dishwasher, chicken goes in the crock pot with a can of Amy’s lentil soup.

11:58 B out of bouncer, onto lap for baby huffing, photobooth, hand nomming.

12:13 Finish reading Zooborns book, fussing ensues.

12:16 Nursing, watch birds eat crumbs on balcony, Porpus bites her toenails, read blogs.

12:34 B passes out on lap, wakes up during crib transfer, but I sneak out after giving him a pacifier and his penguin.

12:40 Curses loud trucks, trains, cars, horns, dogs, makes mental note to buy birdseed.

12:44 GOOOoooo from crib, get B from fake nap, put him in bear bunting, gather myself and put him in the ergo.

12:55 Go for a walk to the park and lake, get hit on by toothless guy in sweatpants, take picture of poop sign and tweet along the way, go to grocery store next door on the way home to get cinnamon roll ingredients.

1:45 arrive home, put away groceries and change B, happiest baby ever, lots of smiles, remember to turn dryer back on, and oops I forgot to buy birdseed.

1:50 Starving, eat a half Clif bar and check on crock pot.

1:55 Nursing, internet, longingly look at the other half of the Clif bar across the room.

2:17 Benton passes out on lap, I notice it is getting dark out, sad face, zone out and wonder if I should start the dough for the rolls or clean up the cat box room, getting sleepy.

2:24 Crib transfer.

2:25 Moves laptop to counter top, turns on baby monitor, begins Pioneer Woman Cinnamon Rolls, turns off hideously loud dryer because baby clothes have a ton of snaps and zippers that bang around in there constantly, gets text about a class action settlement from AT&T and this reminds me of Justin, lonely moment.

2:29 Admires goodness of the crock pot, considers it a magic cauldron, considers hugging it, considers burns.

2:33 Baby crying comes from monitor, appears to be crying in sleep so I replace the pacifier and he rolls over and is peaceful again I think, baby nightmares are so sad.

2:39 (see 2:33) Poor guy is having a hard nap day.

2:49 Briefly considers doing sit-ups.

3:00 Pull out art supplies and work on Herp Derp Lurk Giveaway.

3:21 Sad little B nightmare cries, nursing for comfort.

3:28 Timer goes off and there is something I am supposed to do to the cinn rolls, walk to kitchen with baby attached and turn off timer, really hungry baby today.

3:40 B passes out on lap momentarily and is transferred into the care of Nanny Norpus, I attend to rolls.

3:50 B is awake , change diaper, check crock pot, snuggles on couch.

4:04 Cat pukes, B plays on floor mat while I clean puke and switch out laundry.

4:10 Couch sitting while we play laundry folding game which consists of songs made up about the laundry and peekaboo.

4:30 Floor play with B, more tummy time.

4:41 Bouncer, finish dough and put it in fridge.

4:48 B squeals to get out of bouncer, and is held while I finish dough.

5:00 Wait for Justin’s text to say he is on train, nursing, internet time.

5:02 Text says he will be an hour late.

5:15 Pajama time, couch cuddles, baby talk, cat cuddles.

5:40 Video chat with grandma.

5:50 Attempted nursing and pacifier time, getting ready to nap? Weird calling the dolphins chatter, couch play, more weirdness, I make myself seasick  from rocking.

6:20 Justin texts that he is waiting for the train.

6:30 Benton falls asleep nursing on the couch. No transfer, just cover him up and move to chair and edit this post. Give up on editing. Herp Derp Giveaway work.

6:59 FRAKKING landline. Slam phone. HULK  SMASH. B is still asleep by some miracle.

7:04 Justin home.

7:10 B is awake and talking to Justin while I eat the goodness from the crock pot, listen to baby daddy chatter as J changes B.

7:20-9:00 I don’t really know. B was awake, and Justin and I took turns entertaining him. There was a lot of nursing and hiccups and some crying because this is fussy hour. Cats are fed, dishes washed, lunch is packed, face is washed. TV remains off because B gets really overstimulated if it is on.

9:00 Justin changes B and hands him over, I nurse him to sleep.

9:50 I am still on the internet, zoned out. Brain is toast. Be has been sleeping in my lap for 20 minutes. He is giggling in his sleep. Transfer to crib. Editing this post.

10:13 Publish post, gather water and phone

10:15 Done. Until B wakes up. I will then bring him to bed with us for night nursing.

Breaking the Doodle

I was reading this post from Erin at swonderland yesterday.

Then I took a nap.

I guess that post got things marinating in my mind because I woke up with a manic desire to start creating again. I have had the soul of a Creative since I was a wee one. Certain points in my life have definitely been more productive in this realm than others, but it is always with me. I continue to ride the wave of inspiration through the highs and lows.

Yesterday, I felt the familiar rise of the wave. It is like a shot of adrenaline and I can feel my eyes move quickly, mind race with possibility, and heart beat faster. I started brewing all kinds of ideas until I feel like bursting.

But this time? It was different. When I was working a full-time job as a paid Creative, that took a lot out of me. I had ideas for personal projects that I wanted to create, but was never able to put 100% into them because, well? I was working. I was drained.

Now? I still have a full-time job, but it is not billable by the hour, and I am not paid to be creative. SO GUESS WHAT. I am not wasting this valuable creative energy on things I don’t necessarily have a heart for. I can do what ever I want.

WHATEVER. I. WANT.

Sweet fancy Moses.

I got out my sketch books. I found my doodles from when I was a commuter on the train. The lines shaky from the wheels on the tracks.

I can’t wait to bring these pages to life. I am breaking out of the doodle.

Post from the Grave

Good people, I have died. Because my heart asploded.

There are a lot of parenting moments that I dreamt up in my head before I actually become a parent. I thought that things will be a certain way. And sometimes, to my delight, they are. Only they are better than anything my imagination could have dreamt up.

I can remember folding his clothes on top of my pregnant belly thinking “Ohmygosh it will be so fun to dress this little bebeh.” Or  “Squeeeeee, these hooded bath towels are the BEST. He will be such a clean, squishy dumpling. I can’t wait.”

These fluffy little baby moments certainly do happen. But being a mom thus far, I have learned that most of the day is made up of moments that I could hardly have predicted. Many are less fluffy than the cuteness of dressing a freshly bathed babe. And of course some stretches of the day are just tough.

So, if you are sitting in a half decorated nursery, folding baby socks and dreaming of putting little toes into these socks, don’t let anyone poop on your parade. These moments aren’t just the stuff that dreams are made of. They happen. They will not make up your ENTIRE day. But they will punctuate your most trying days with bursts of happy that will give you fuel to get through the poo. True story.

The Screaming

There was a lot of screaming today. Really sad scrunchy-faced-hair-wet-with-tears kind of screaming. Completely inconsolable and heart-breaking screams. I don’t know how parents who have truly sick kids deal with it. My goodness, the hurt. Poor baby. Poor mama.

I was finally able to calm him after the 4 month checkup, which was apparently the most traumatic thing that has ever occurred in his little bity life. I am switching pediatricians because my mom sense tells me to do so for a variety of reasons (outside of the screaming).

We snuggled in the bed for the whole afternoon to make it better. I hope he forgives me and is back to his normal self tomorrow.

Speaking of snuggles, this was the scene just before I had to wake the babe for 7th layer of pediatrician hell:

GWYG Parenting

For being such an over-researcher by nature, I am shocked that I haven’t done more reading about parenting just yet. Maybe that will kick in sometime. Maybe not.

My game plan thus far has been Go With Your Gut (GWYG) parenting. The only things this parenting philosophy requires are a bit of confidence, a healthy amount of patience for the trial-and-error method, and a support system to tell you “Good job, mama. You get a gold star.” Sometimes it requires wine. And dirty hair. I realize this may sound like an ignorant way to do things since we live in the age of a million-and-one how-to-raise-your-baby books. But to that I say? Meh.

Luckily, Benton has been super healthy and not an unusually fussy guy as far as I know. So the first four months haven’t been that difficult for me. My heart is growing bigger by the day, and I am really enjoying this new little person that the baby is growing into. My guess is that he wants lots of brothers and sisters, so he has decided to be an easy-going first kid in order to make way for the other littles that will come after him.

So much is new. Every day. I would rather keep my eyes on him, than in a stack of parenting books for now.

And, just look! He is doing fine:

Don't worry, the old man faces still come out on a regular basis.

Dad Hands

We had a great time on our mama-baby road trip. But there is no place like home.

Benton is starting to be such a little person. I can’t imagine that someday he will have hands as big as his dad’s. I wonder if they will have scars and stories to tell. Will they have grease under the nails? Will he be a handy man like his Grandpa? Will they be smooth hands that prefer the pages of a book like is Dad’s? Will they play the piano like his Uncle? Expertly change diapers of his own babies?

GAH. I can’t even think about the last one.

Don Q

I found tiny newborn diapers in the front pocket of the suitcase that I was packing. Seems like B wore those ages ago (heh). It made me a little sad. But obviously, he is still a relatively wee baby, and most days I spend sniffing his head and savoring him, usually searching for the pause button. It must be hidden somewhere, right?

I have to be honest though. There are many occasions where I would like to speed things along. I want to have a conversation with him.

Today, when we were driving from Chicago to Indianapolis, we travelled through a patch of land that had hundreds of windmills. Miles and miles of enormous, other-worldly wind turbines. I hadn’t seen these before, and was as excited as a kid. The sun was setting and the sky was wild with storm clouds, rainbows and colors. The perfect backdrop to the surreal landscape I was feeling lucky to see.

I was thinking of how awesome it will be to drive through the windmills with B in the back seat when he is facing out an observing the world like I do. We would talk about Don Q, how rainbows are made, and how the earth revolves around a ball of fire that is larger than you can ever imagine.

But today, he was just a cozy baby in his bubble. Which is just fine for now.

Yeah, this is taken while I was driving. Do not freak out. I am an expert at using the camera on the phone without looking at it.